Day 21: Genesis 47:29-50:26
As my mother lie in her hospital bed, she knew that her time on earth was almost gone . She asked for me to come into her room. She said, "Please close the door." It was only the two of us. She says, "Come close to me." So, I did. As her eyes began to fill with tears, she softly says, "I have not been the best mother to you. I know that I have hurt you and I ask that you forgive me." I was stunned. I really didn't know what to say. I was shaking a bit. The room got smaller and her voice seemed to fade off in the distance. My mind is racing. My heart is pounding. My mother is dying. I thought, "Is this the last conversation I will have with her?" "Why now?" "Why say it now?" I finally said, "Of course mom!" As I turned to walk out of the room, the very last words I heard my mother say to me was, "I love you!"
Over the years, anger, hurt and resentment would flood my mind and heart as I thought about my mom. She is gone and I have no opportunity to really talk to her about the things we needed to work out. Until one day, I realized that in the hospital room that day, I was blessed by my mom. I was blessed to know that she really did love me and that she could say, I am sorry.
As I drove back to St. Louis for the funeral, my sister told me that mom wanted me to know that she was really proud that I was a preacher. I thought, "boy, I really wish I could have heard her say that to me." but just knowing she felt that way made me feel good, really good.
As Jacob blessed his boy before he died, so did my mom bless me and it has taken me decades to figure it out.
May we never wait until our death bed to say we are sorry or try to fix difficult problems at the last minute of our life. Work out your problems now so life will be more enjoyable and God will be honored and funerals will be more of a celebration rather than a place of regret and unresolved issues.
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